Memories of a child

kids always have the most fun right?
so why am i, denied my childhood and dreaming to have one now...
forcefully led to live the adult life from the moment i was free?

since i first started life, it has been harsh on me...
my own father nearly killed seven times from my age 3-6...
never knew or saw much of him from 6-9...
then i nvr saw him at all...
what was i to him?
this day, eight years ago...
i cried my first tears as an adult...
denied of a happy childhood...
denied of my father...
i began to think, live, breathe and act like an adult...

thinking bout it...
it was hard at first...
it nvr got easier...
i couldn't make much friends...
i didn't have much to say bout myself...
pffft...
the first girl who ever hated me ended up as my lover...
on the same date, five years later...
hah... meeting her was like meeting a devil...
but even in the hate that sparked our relationship, i loved her for being so fierce...
for forcing me to open up to her...
if i nvr met her, i think i would still be a very shy and keep to myself kind of person...
hahaa...

now... even while i'm seventeen... i still wanna be seven again...
i wanna be a kid... the kid that had never seen the light of the world...
i wanna stop being an adult for a while...
and let the kid in me enjoy the life he nvr had...


can i?
if yes, will you help me let him see the wonders and the love of the world?
if yes, will you please, please let him have a most wonderful memory of you?
if you will help me make the kid in me smile, i will grateful to you...
eternally, eternally... till my deathbed, forever, i will only show you my smile...

dear God,

i know i'm not that good a believer...

but pls, pls...

will you grant me this one simple wish?